Furfur da cat's black magic hawaiian pizza

Furfur the cat's black magic hawaiian pizza from Rocco Bone on Vimeo.

The baby Jesus is already kicking all of you motherfuckers who linger longer out of his bachelor pad. Pepé Le Pewing the joint for New Year's. The turkey's gone, the stuffing's gone, the potato salad... gone.
Back to pulling frozen meal prep containers from the stack #likeapleb.

Furfur, I thank you for a full year of cheating death and providing yours truly with the alchemical/haute cuisine/black magic knowledge needed to dump sugar, processed foods in general and enriched white flour in particular the fuck out of my life.
I present thee wit dis delish pizza 4 u to nibble on oh great Furfur. Omnomnom u black cube of Cronus kitty cat.

CRUST:
10 Tablespoons tahini paste (some may find the peanut butter used in the original recipe a bit overpowering. Tahini paste may be more your thing)
4 pastured eggs
Juice from 1 lemon
Teaspoon baking soda
full big scoop of Whey protein powder or if you have "ethical issues" use a scoop of whichever vegetable based protein powder you prefer instead.
pinch sea salt
coconut butter or regular butter or olive oil (?) for greasing up your pizza pan

Mix ingredients in a bowl until you get a somewhat pancake batter-ey consistence. Pour into a greased up pizza pan.

SAUCE:
4 tomatoes
pepper
pinch o' salt
sweet wine

boil the tomatoes, put the tomatoes , pepper, salt and sweet wine in a deep dish and smoosh, smoosh, smoosh.

TOPPINGS:
In this case I am using a burger paddy I never got around to use for anything else. Use ham or whichever meat you prefer or if you have "ethical issues" whichever vegan substitute you want.
cheddar, mozzarella, whatever cheese you prefer
pineapples (just to fuck with some people)
onions (if you're into that)
mushrooms or any other topping you want to sprinkle on your pizza
cut up the toppings into manageable pieces and sprinkle, sprinke, sprinkle over the crust.

Say the magic words:
a
ab
abr
abra
abrac
abraca
abracad
abracada
abracadab
abracadabr
abracadabra

Put that bad boy in the oven (for how long? don't go away and leave it unattended I can tell you that. Check back every 5 minutes depending on your oven really)
Congrats! You've just completed one third of your meal prep. Slice that motherfucker up and stuff it in the freezer.

Music:
A Flash in the Pan by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/