KEEPING YOUR SANITY THROUGH THIS COVID-19 BULLSHIT

Hey there kids.
Hope you're holding up well with all this coronavirus bullshit.
Some of you unfortunate souls are locked up inside for days on end and that's not good at at all.
So, since now the goal has shifted to maintaining sanity during the coronavirus lockdown, I thought I'd share some of the things I've been doing lately. Take what helps, discard what doesn't. Aaaaights. here we go.

Do some cleanup around the house. you might find some shit you hadn't seen in years.

For example, I found a Duckman comic that I bought back in mmmm 93 when I was vacationing in Florida. Remember Duckman? It even has one of those 3d microlusion doohickeys.

While cleaning out the cupboards I stumbled upon an old, old, OLD can of pillsbury chocolate fudge frosting. I'm sure this was left over from the last time mom tried baking a cake, and that was sometime back in the 90's I'm sure. This shit is 20 something years old by now. So I opened it up, no funky smells, no fungus, nothing alarming save from the unnaturally plastic like texture of the fudge.
I did some research on the interwebz to see if fudge goes bad. Most people said that it doesn't go bad, so...
I tasted some of it, fuck I finished the whole damn thing and I'm still alive. You can eat 30 year old cake frosting. You'll be fine.
Bingewatch some youtube, hulu netflix pornhub or whatever.
Recently I came across a fine buzzfeed series called draw-off
I'd say it is now my favorite series on the interwebz. I try following along from time to time.

So, I bid you farewell for now.
Like Francis William Bourdillon said:

"The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun."

-Francis William Bourdillon

I'm also leaving this link to an interesting article.

Take it whichever way you want to interpret it. Not sayin' anything, just sayin'. Take care shit dicks.

With a Stamp by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

The thinnening conclusion

So, whenever I bump into someone that knew me back in the day they always ask "how did you do it?"

Well, to summarize:

Pick a "diet". wanna do keto? great! wanna do paleo? 4 sho. Wanna do mediterranean? whatever. Wanna go vegan? Make sure to eat your nutritional yeast and supplement your vitamins or you'll fucking die.  You're on your own on that vegan diet but more power to you hipster. Ask someone who knows how to do the vegan diet properly.

Whatever you do, don't fuck it up by eating processed food. JERF! Just eat real food.

Learn to cook a handful of recipes from whichever diet plan you find most convenient. Get ready to eat the same 5 things in rotation for entire weeks or months. Eventually you'll pick up other recipes by osmosis. 

Meal prep, if you can meal prep a month's worth of meals and set them in the freezer and take one tupperware container out at a time each day and JUST HAVE THAT. GREAT! That's optimal!

After a fuckload of research, trial and error I incorporated dry fasting and snake juice fasting, keto diet initially then I fucked around with other diets. Later on I incorporated apple cider vinegar, flavourless gelatin initially and more fancy hydrolyzed collagen later on along with snake juice in the hopes that if loose skin was inevitable, lets at least do anything to reduce the likeability of it happening IF POSSIBLE.

Healthy snack is a fucking oxymoron. Stop it, you fucking asshole. Just eat your full meal and stop whining.

You eat 3 meals a day? Try eliminating one meal. If you can eventually do OMAD (one meal a day) That's great.

When you're just starting don't even think about running or lifting weights or any of that jazz. Just walk and you'll be fine. If you MUST INSIST ON INCORPORATING PHYSICAL ACTIVITY... DO weights. Do weight lifting. Do that first.

Initially try and weigh yourself each week. Go by how snug or loose your clothes get. Then, once you get the hang of it, try and weigh yourself daily if possible. 

Do a youtube search for these:

Robert Lustig sugar the bitter truth

Snake diet cole robinson

Maybe that'll knock some sense into you.

You won't see or at least perceive results initially. For the most part it will be other people who first notice changes in your figure. 

It might take some weeks, some months, depending on how disciplined you were. One day you'll get a compliment, then another one, then another one, etc.

Kim Jong-Un made a public appearance... yay!

Kim Jong-Un made a public appearance... yay!
I was starting to speculate all kinds of weird shit in my head.