YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS SHIT!
HERE! HOLD THIS.
ALL THE BITCHES GET WET OVER THE HAIR METAL AND
THE HAIR METAL BANDS NOW,
BUT 5, 6 YEARS FROM NOW
YOU'RE GOING TO BE READY FOR THE GRUNGE YEARS
TUNE YOUR GUITAR,
CHOOSE A SONG AND
WHIDDLY WHIDDLY WHIDDLY!
LISTEN GUY, KEEP PLAYING.
I'M GOING TO GET A FLOYD ROSE
AND SOME SPARE GUITAR STRINGS
BE RIGHT BACK
knock! knock!
COME IN!
HEY THERE MY DUDE.
I JUST REMEMBERED THIS HAPPENING IN MY CHILDHOOD
- AND WHICH LONG LOST
RELATIVE ARE YOU?
KID, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.
I AM YOU FROM 2020, THE YEAR THAT
WOULDN'T FUCKING END.
I'LL TELL YOU THE STORY LATER.
GOOD NEWS FIRST:
AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU'LL KEEP
THAT LUSCIOUS GRENADIER'S HAT LOOKING
HEAD OF HAIR ALL
THE WAY INTO YOUR 40'S.
BAD NEWS IS, A PANDEMIC WILL GRIP THE ENTIRE WORLD,
PEOPLE WILL ALL COME TO AN AGREEMENT AND
ACT LIKE FUCKING IDIOTS AND YOU, WELL I'LL
RATHER JUMP IN A HOLE THAN LIVE WITH THE REST OF THE SLAVES.
FOR NOW, LOOK AT DIS
NOT THAT I WANT TO SHIT ON YOUR FANCY ATARI 2600,
BUT, MY DUDE, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS
IT'S A JUICED UP PC FROM THE FUTURE.
Don't come any closer and keep your sneakers on motherfucker. "the good lord" whatever the fuck that means to you, wants to offer you a chance to redeem yourself.
- What Fozzie Bear "waka waka" grade joke does "the good lord" have in mind?
You're going back to 1985. You'll do some parenting on yourself.
- Can I take some shit with me to 1985?
Sure
Xbox controller
Juiced up PC
2 Rocksmith cables
Flying V
FUCK YOU SHITSMEARS, YOUR WINNIE THE FLU AND YOUR "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER" I'M OUTTA HERE!
OH NO!
RAZIEL???
MOST PEOPLE THINK ANGELS ARE THESE SEXY BLONDE MEN OR SOME CUTESY BABY WITH WINGS
WHEN IN FACT THESE GODDAMN ANGELS END UP LOOKING MORE LIKE A FEVER DREAM... FUCK!
LOVE WHAT YOU DID WITH THE CRISPY CRUST
LISTEN MY DUDE... I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE UP ANY OF YOUR TIME
NO PROB MY GOOD MAN. THE ARTESANAL TOMATO SAUCE IS MUCH APPRECIATED
JESUS MARIMBA!
SAN JUDAS HIJO DE PUTA!
THE UNIVERSE IS A LIVING ORGANISM GUIDED BY A LIVING, TIMELESS WISDOM OR INTELLIGENCE THAT CONSCIOUSLY MAKES EFFORTS TO LET OR NOT LET CERTAIN SHIT HAPPEN.
